Projects
Consciousness Fiction
7. "The Beginning of a Romantic Evening for Two" by Carl Johann Schroeder
Introduction: This was my writing group's Exercise #4. We made it up improv style, going around the table to get words. "Use the following in a scene: turtle, bra, chocolate, slippery, ordinary, toast, charged, extrude." I tried to keep it short and sweet this time.
-- Carl, September 2006
The Beginning of a Romantic Evening for Two
By Carl Johann Schroeder, copyright 2006, all rights reserved.
"Why is there chocolate on your bra?" I asked, pointing out a spot to her for evidence as she undressed before me.
"What are you, my mother?"
She could be so slippery, but I was determined to not let her escape.
"Yes, I am. Just an ordinary mother fucker. Now explain the chocolate."
She shrugged. "I work in a candy factory, for chrissakes."
"So?"
"So you know those machines," she said, starting to giggle. "They extrude the chocolate at such high speed. Sometimes a turtle will just fly up under my shirt."
She laughed and pulled a melted nut goodie out of her heaving bosom, the warm chocolote smearing on her hands and chin as she took a triumphant bite.
"Oh my god," I groaned. "You are toast!" I charged at her to grab away the offending calories, but I hit the mirror instead.
"Ow!" I said, rubbing my nose.
She rubbed her nose too and we looked at each other. Observer, observed. One body, two minds. One always seeing what the other should stop doing, the other doing it because it was too good to stop.
So I watched her lift up our bra and out plopped 4 more chocolate turtles, 12 taffies, 5 mint patties, 9 truffles, and assorted jelly beans. Even mashed together they made quite a mound, but no one notices such things when you weigh as much as we do.
I tried to wonder what the mess tasted like as it slid down our throat, but I couldn't stop nagging us to stop eating for two.
